Imagine yourself in a comfortable room with soft lighting and a warm glow. Someone is listening to you, and really listening. Marriage and Family Therapists are able to do this.
The therapist wears many hats. Therapists are part detectives, coaches, and referees. Imagine you and your partner are in the middle a heated debate about who gets to do the garbage. Your therapist will step in and call a timeout to prevent things from getting too messy.
The next minute, they help you to decode emotional cryptic messages sent by your partner. Next, they guide you through a complex web of familial dynamics that could make Shakespeare scratch his head.
Imagine that families are puzzles. Every piece is different in color and shape, but they all fit together to form a larger picture. When all you see is jagged edges, a therapist can help you understand how the pieces are connected.
Let's take a moment to talk about children. Have you ever tried to reason with an adolescent? You're trying to nail jam to the wall. The ability of therapists to bridge generational gaps is uncanny. The therapists translate the teenage anguish into a language that parents and teens can both understand.
One of my friends once shared with me her experience in her first family therapy session. It was like peeling an orange, layer by layer and tear by tear. They were not close at first, but they became closer by the end.
What if you are sceptical? You may have heard of horror stories, or you might think that therapy is only for "others." It's not a mystical, tv-show process. This is real life, based on science and empathy.
Imagine this: you walk into therapy with the feeling that the entire world is on your shoulders. You've gained new skills to deal with life's challenges and you have shed some of your baggage.
The therapists do not have magic wands. They have years of training, studying human behaviour and an arsenal of tools to suit each situation.
You know the old proverb that Rome was not built in one day? Relationships and families are not built in a day. It takes effort and patience, just like gardening where every plant requires different attention but adds beauty to the whole.
Let's debunk another myth: therapy isn't only about fixing the broken, it's about strengthening everything that's good. Imagine it like upgrading relationship software. It will fix issues and add new features to improve performance.
Imagine building a home without a blueprint. You'd end up with doors that lead nowhere or walls in the place of windows. The therapist can provide you with the blueprint that is needed to build stronger foundations, and create more harmonious spaces.
The humor plays a role too. On occasion, laughter is the most effective medicine. Cracking jokes during serious discussions can bring people closer.
Have you ever had an "aha!" moment where suddenly everything makes sense? These epiphanies are facilitated by therapists who ask questions to make you reflect deeply on yourself, others and the world around you.
Therapists act as guides for this life journey, much like Gandalf guiding Frodo to Middle-Earth and its perils. But without the orcs.
Next time you hear someone talking about marriage and family therapy, don't laugh or think they are crazy. It could be the thing that keeps them afloat in rough seas.
We could all benefit from a little guidance.